There are autoflushing toilets

that you love and then there are autoflushing toilets that you cannot love more than the canteen auntie who cheated you of 30 cents during your primary school years - and twice at that.

It's a love-hate relationship for me, where autoflushing toilets are concerned.

Auto-flushing toilets are definitely a must (must must must!) in public toilet. No one wants to pull a flushing lever that has been touched by some unknown stranger, once you conjure him up in your mind to be a dirty old git with an obnoxious passion for digging his nose (or any other orifice) while about his business; or a klutz with a knack for missing the vast contact points between the toilet paper intended for his dear bottom and his dear bottom (one can go on to postulate what actually contacted his dear unsanitized bottom to be... his fingers. Which will, in the not-so-distant future, be pulling THE FLUSH. Gasp.)

And we do realise that one need not necessarily be activating THE FLUSH with his precious clean hands (if they are any clean), don't we? It doesn't really take a Chinese acrobat capable of spinning 7 plates with chopsticks on all his limbs to lift his leg(s) for the purpose intended above. My dear friends and fiends, I have seen shoemarks on flush handles more times than you've seen cats wearing cowboy pants. But don't let me stop you if you still believe that humankind still possess the moral ethics to pull flushing levers with ditty clean hands. I must admit I believe that they do exist, much as I believe that one can eventually strike lottery after 24215273264326232 attempts at that lucky game.

And don't let me start on flush levers wet with dubious liquids that you know not to be water or some nuclear reactive substance of organic origins.

And yes, for all the autoflushing toilet's worth, I have some rants on it. (I always do have rants on ANYTHING, dear....)

Now I'm not the particular type of guy that loves intimate physical contact with the toilet seat, and if given the choice, I will always opt for the squatting type. Yes, I do know that some pple get pins and needles from prolonged squatting, but to them, I say: tough luck, I don't.

The only thing I hate about them autoflushing toilets, are that some of them autoflush for no rhyme or reason. It's good that they perform their functions (Potex will be so proud of 'em.), but I would seriously prefer them to exercise patience, especially when I'm squatting and still about my business, not so enthusiastic about getting my butt cheeks wet from the afterflush gushes while at it.

It's really hard to communicate with them on this matter, I tell you. If they have a mind (which they obviously don't) they'd be so bad at math that they wouldn't recognize an Operator, even if they went out on a dinner date with one the night before.

They flush and they flush, and they flush, (must be some sort of PMS) - once their sensor glow an evil red, signalling that they've noticed your presence and are determined to make you sorry for chancing upon them. Never mind that it is the curry's fault that you ARE there, not that you actually WANT to be there. And if you try to keep absolutely still to fake your absence, they'll play along with you and stop their flushing - that is, until you heave a sigh of relief. They're really good at making you feel miserable, to leave your butt cheeks in despair to the merciless aftermath splashes inflicted by the autoflush.

I've tried cajoling them by sticking toilet papers right in front of their evil sensor eyes, but they've got better eyes than superman, and can see through even your thickest pair of undergarment. It's hopeless I tell you. The only way to not suffer a destitute fate would be to simply resign yourself to it (it's not that bad anyway...)

Just remember that it can't be worse then having to contend with someone producing toxic mass weapon of destruction in the adjacent cubicle. On the very likely event that Saddam Hussein is indeed next door, and your autoflush is indeed having fun at your expense, then tough luck - you're on your own.

And it's about time

I blogged. Network was done for last week due to problems with winsocks on comp, and I really had a lot of fun trying to up the system again. Woohoo. Fun fun fun. Not.


Some updates on my life (if anyone can really be interested in ME, other than me):

Midterm exams are really bad. Below average for all the subjects. Something is definitely wrong this semester. I'm waiting for my internal defense mechanism to fight back, but I'm not really doing anything yet. Save waiting for more Narutos from (evil) Eu.

Been spending a lot on stuff and going out. Watched Hitch recently. Fantastic movie that made me wish Hitch really exist.

Brother's going to hold wedding dinner on this Thurs, and after that, there would be one less member in the house (more space!). But there won't be anyone to thump chest with me when I get home. =(

Haha... this is moi? Wakaremasan. Tak Faham...

You scored as latino. you a latina or a latino latino 50% asian 50% white 33% black 0% Are you a different race than you think you are? created with QuizFarm.com

1 star kayak course

is finally over and I'm chao ta. I'm so chao ta that you would probably reject me if I was a one-dollar chicken wing sold to you at Ghim Moh market.

And once again, I've been duped. Next time you see a lobang in Singapore, better look at it twice to confirm it. They seldom are the rEaL deals, noting that Singaporeans are a rare breed with eagle eyes for such finds, and most would probably be snatched up even before they come up.

I've started on the kayak course because only PA SSCs offer kayaks at the incredible rental rate of S$15/DAY, whereas other places charge 5/HOUR. But you've have to have the 1-star cert to be able to rent their canoes. Ah, so there's the catch. Noticed that.

The course costs 25 dollars. Very well. That means I breakeven with 2.5 sessions of 5-hours-kayaking.

But to be eligible for the course, you must be a member of SSC. And that costs 30 dollars for 2 yrs of membership. Very well. That means I breakeven with an extra 3 sessions of 5-hours-kayaking. So to breakeven, I have to chalk up a total of 5.5 sessions of 5HK within the period of 2 years. Hmm. The catch snowballs.

And then I didn't read the clauses - which probably was invisible-inked into a secret wall at the secret basement of Changi SSC, with its key probably long stolen by Yamashita and kept together with the secret treasures lying beneath some unknown corner of MacRitchie before he left Singapore. The limitations of the 1-star cert was only conspicuosly revealed to me at the end of the 1-star kayak course - in a bid to attract suckers for the 2-star course.

It seems that with the 1-star cert, I'm limited by the limitation buoys that floats around the seas where the PAs are, with no other purpose but to stop pple like me from having extreme fun. Solution? 2-star cert.

Hmm. So to be able to kayak randomly around Singapore and stopover at different islands to gaze at stars at night, I have to get the 2-star cert which is another 3 days of course, and costs 35 dollars? That means I will have to....chalk up a total of 9 sessions of 5HK within the period of 2 yrs? Oh man... I must be really committed to the idea of kayaking to afford all that time... and I'm talking only about offsetting the overhead costs.

What with the Changi Sea Sports Club located at the ever-ulu eastern tip of Singapore, where not even the most desperate birds go to lay their eggs - this is not really a good deal.

But I'm in this already, and I might just as well go for the 2-star. Who's in this with me? Please stand up, suck your thumb, and shout aloud, 'I'm a sucker!', before calling me to arrange for our 2-star session with PA SSC.

I've been duped into buying legal stuff.

You can find the scripts for Bl.adder here. http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/8889/bladder.htm

To think I spent 4 extremely useful dollars on a 2nd hand copy of the book... *whines and sobs*

Your website is down. I am griefed.

I check your blog every single time I log on. Much as I tell myself not to, I cannot help myself.
It is a habit that I will have to break one day.

I look at my clock and do a mental calculation of what time it is over at your side, though I know the answer already. Have you blogged? How was your day? What did you do? Where did you go? Who did you meet? What did you cook this time round? I want to know what I shouldn't want to know.

Are you angry with my last comment? Was it too blunt? Too irritating? Too boastful [But I'm seldom this.]? I must check soon. Must must must. I don't want to leave you with the wrong impression, even if it doesn't matter anymore.

Was that me? Was that me you are talking about? It can't be me. Why should it? Much as I wish for it to be me, it can't be. For I don't hold that significant spot in your heart. There can only be one, and it's not me. No more. Never did.

Yet every day, every hour, every minute, I think of you, and ask the same question I have been asking myself the past 3 months. Why?

But I do know the answers.

We were impossible from the start, yet we started the impossible- thinking of creating a possibility out of it.

Driving lesson

"Slow down, keep left."
Orh.
"Signal left, move into road pocket. Slow down."
Orh.
"Never check blind spot! Change to gear 2."
Ah. Orh.
"Arh. Don't spoil my gear box, I tell you many times, 'Clutch first, then gear stick' right?"
Uhm... Sorry.
"Too slow already! Remember to take your foot off brake, otherwise how to go? Gear 1 then move off."
Eh... Orh.
"Check right side for car."
No car leh.
"Then go lah!"
"Arh. See car jerking already? Half clutch leave for few seconds, don't be impatient!"
....
"Your change gear got problem. Stop car to the left then we practise your change gear again."

Spongebob Squarepants with his spongy arms can probably drive better than I can.

Stone of Galveston

Edmund talking to Percy about Princess Infanta...

Percy: You know, they do say that the Infanta's eyes are more beautiful than the famous Stone of Galveston.
Edmund: Mm! ... What?
Percy: The famous Stone of Galveston, My Lord.
Edmund: And what's that, exactly?
Percy: Well, it's a famous blue stone, and it comes ... from Galveston.
Edmund: I see. And what about it?
Percy: Well, My Lord, the Infanta's eyes are bluer than it, for a start.
Edmund: I see. And have you ever seen this stone?
Percy: (nods) No, not as such, My Lord, but I know a couple of people who have, and they say it's very very blue indeed.
Edmund: And have these people seen the Infanta's eyes?
Percy: No, I shouldn't think so, My Lord.
Edmund: And neither have you, presumably.
Percy: No, My Lord.
Edmund: So, what you're telling me, Percy, is that something you have never seen is slightly less blue than something else you have never seen.
Percy: (finally begins to grasp) Yes, My Lord.

And so it seems

that 6th May - 14th May will be Taiwan trip, followed by China Trip from (15-17th?) to (24-30th?).

Beginning Balance: 5174
Computer Loan: (2000)
SEP Loan: (3000)
Taiwan trip:( 600)
China trip: (1300)
Driving: (1500)
End Balance:( 3226)

It doesn't take a mathematician to know that I have the worst cashflow/debt ratio/balance sheet possible for a human being. But *shrug*, isn't life meant to be so? One penny in, ten pounds out. Live and make merry. Say hi to the cricket. =)

Wushu

2nd training session on Mon after a long long time. 6 yrs?
I still prefer the cudgel, though the double sabre can be quite neat - if you know the moves.
But heck, where can you get sabres if you need to defend yourself on the street? I still prefer the versatility and availability of eqpt, as cudgels go.

Weekend

I have had quite a weekend lamenting on the state of relationship affairs in Singapore (or rather among my close knit friends.)

ZH broke off with his gf of 1.5 years, and I am rather glad that it did happen, after hearing how his predicament this past 1.5 years had been. ZH is a rather charming goodie-two-shoes guy, and he's probably the type that would make a good husband (giver, caring, concerning, handsome, not too shabby, intelligent++). His gf (now ex), on the other hand, sound like a taker, and has been on the receiving ends of luxurious presents (ZH has almost spent all his savings on her, less S$300) for many occassions. She has strayed on several occassions, but ZH always closed one eye to that. Perhaps that's a fault. And quarrels mostly ended up with him salvaging. Perhaps that's another of his fault. It's only recently when they're on IA to different companies, that she told him bluntly that there's this cute guy at the workplace, and she wants to try to know him more. If I'm ZH, I wouldn't know what to say to this gf of mine. Does 1.5 yrs, and tiring efforts to maintain a relationship mean only so much? I'm sure ZH can find a better partner.

There's also this guy (ZH's friend), who has been dumped by his gf while on exchange program. This guy's quite a sad case. During the hols before exchange, he worked to save money just so that he can buy his gf's exchange's air ticket for her, and also 1/3 of her laptop. She said that she'll not find someone so soon, and it's just that she needed more time. She found someone soon after. Haiz.

Perhaps it's after going through all this that a guy can really learn to deal with heartbreaks and lost relationships. A callused heart. In ZH's words (I think), 'The pain doesn't go away. It stays and numbs your heart for a long time.'

------

On a lighter note, I've had quite a nice weekend. Sat was spent lamenting (it does help to bring about male bonding among 'single sad fucks' [in ZH's words]), but Sunday was an exhilarating kayak session at East Coast. We're going on a 1-star kayak course next weekend, and I can't wait to get my tan.

A Series of Unfortunate Events

started off with 2271 embedded mid terms on Tuesday.

And for today's midterms, I came late, had to rush off to get my jacket due to the freaking temp in the LT, chose a lousy seat next to the projector (the $@!$!@ projector blocked the foldable table from unfolding) and had to relocate. This would not have mattered much if the paper was easy enough for me to recollect my composure, but no no no no... Murphy rulez.

Today was parallel and concurrent programming mid terms and I couldn't have died a worse death. I was in livelock waiting @ P(answers) where the test script was concerned, whilst another part of my brain started off on a recursive concurrent process involving the subject of panic. I think I am going to die real bad, and this is not my usual lament. Factoring in ESLS has definitely added credibility to my distress now. And I still can't kickstart my engine to 60% of what I had been, before SEP.

I am starting to really consider the possibility that the job scope of lecturers include driving a few students insane every semester, while keeping the rest in constant doldrums of depression.

Bamboo Leaf Drink

There is this funny herbal concoction sold in NUS Science Canteen, and it's labelled
BAMBOO LEAF DRINK (SUGAR FREE).

It looks surprisingly dark and definitely concentrated, but tastes enormously bland. It's as weird as finding lemur bones in a panda stew, served during a WWF convention.

Christian website

I accidently typed in
http://native02.blogpsot.com/
and got to a Christian website of which I know not its legality and/or truthfulness, but it is indeed powerful.

This page does reflect certain elements of truth to which I am left with introspection.

and this page, concerning the fear of the Lord, too.

Where do I stand?

Where do you stand?

CS2271 test

is a killer. I sorta knew that I'm dead halfway through the test, when I've only vaguely done (or skip) 40% of the script, with 50% of the time left.

Comparison of MCQ sheet (with Garry and Kaimun) at the end sealed my fate. Am I doomed to trudge through this module as an underdog? I guess I am.

How exciting. I love to be a surprising underdog. Whoopee.
*insane Japanese Kamikaze look on face*

叶子问:

爱情是什麽颜色的
如果忧郁是蓝色的
快乐是什麽颜色的
如果寂寞是灰色的
天空是什麽颜色的
如果汪洋是蓝色的
我说天空也是蓝色的
因为他们彼此相爱了

爱情是什麽颜色的
如果记忆是模糊的
渴望是什麽颜色的
如果时间是静止的
永恒是什麽颜色的
如果呼吸是短暂的

我想我只好沉默
因为这问题地球也在思考着
透明是什麽颜色的
如果风儿是快乐的

叶子的眼睛是透明的
心是心是快乐的
心是快乐的

四季

作词:陈珊妮
作曲:陈珊妮

秋天摇着尾巴
说它其实爱着夏天
但已经是过去的事
冬天又来了

要秋天多给一点时间
还偷偷想着春天
春花秋月最寂寞
冬雨不讨人喜欢

你要夏天只爱自己
我却等你一个四季
你要夏天只爱自己
我却等你一个四季

What are you, Colonel Sanders.... chicken?

I saw a rooster with its full crowning glory.... in a HDB carpark lot near my house.

The odds of that. It was one fine Saturday afternoon, when the most happening thing you expect is the ice-cream man ringing his bell to attract those pesky primary school students from CCK primary.

Someday We'll Know - Switchfoot

This is a very nice song that I heard over the radio which I would love to get my hands on *hint hint*

Ninety miles outside Chicago
Can't stop driving, I don't know why
So many questions, I need an answer
Two years later you're still on my mind

Whatever happened to Amelia Earhart?
Who holds the stars up in the sky?
Is true love just once in a lifetime?
Did the captain of the Titanic cry?

Someday We'll Know
If love can move a mountain
Someday We'll Know
Why the sky is blue
Someday We'll Know
Why I wasn't meant for you

Does anybody know the way to Atlantis?
Or what the wind says when she cries?
I'm speeding by the place that I met you
For the ninety-seventh time... tonight

Someday We'll Know
If love can move a mountain
Someday We'll Know
Why the sky is blue
Someday We'll Know
Why I wasn't meant for you

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Someday We'll Know
Why Samson loved Delilah
One Day I'll go
Dancin on the moon
Someday You'll Know
That I was the one for you

I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
i watch the stars crash into the sea
If I could ask God just one question...
Why aren't you here with me?...tonight

Someday We'll Know
If love can move a mountain
Someday We'll Know
Why the sky is blue
Someday We'll Know
Why I wasn't meant for you

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Someday We'll Know
Why Samson loved Delilah
One Day I'll go
Dancin on the moon
Someday You'll Know
That I was the one for you

Who wants to go for 1-star kayak course @ Changi SSC

It will be on the 20th and 27th of the month. Both are Sundays. 10-5pm.
payment is about 30 dollars.

Get back to me fast fast fast. Must apply by 13th.

Taiwan

Plan tickets are going for a steal @ Jet Star Asia, and I might be going on a Taiwan trip with Edmond, and/or Ivan ++ anyone interested in going. Maybe in early May. If you are interested, do drop me a note. Should be in Taiwan for a week or so.

And this is on top of the China Trip, and my driving lessons.

We'll see how as the events draw nearer.

Conspiracy Theory

My toiletries have been planning it together for a while already, it seems. It is highly unlikely for my shampoo, hair-gel, facial wash, and toner to run out on the same day at the same time, but that's what happened recently. They must not really like me very much.

Nerd level

Looks like I'm not so nerdy after all.... ;)

桔子红了

歌手:黄磊 专辑:等等等等

院子来了一群雀鸟做客
挂满橘子的树于是活了
刚下山的夕阳把影子拉长了
你走到了门口
手上拎着行李是要走呢
还是作过的梦都不算了
眼睁睁望着你我却不敢开口
我没勇气要求
这忧啊这愁啊这爱啊这债啊
混在我脑海已瞬间成灾
你是哭呢笑呢悲呢喜呢
你这样掩埋别教我去猜
这盼啊这等啊这去啊这来啊
这欢喜悲哀还不够精采
我是梦呢醒呢问呢闷呢
橘子红了是该摘了
不能不爱了

云烟

歌手:黄磊 专辑:等等等等

切莫走近
让它是云烟
切莫走近
让它是云烟
到我的梦里来
到你的梦里去
我爱过的人
爱过我的人
让他永远是云烟
永远是少年
永远永远是梦幻
切莫走近
让它永远是云烟

Stalls.

"Aiyah, the clutch too fast again! And turning must slow down more..."

I don't have a passion for my new driving instructor. =|

Apparently, my other (and more friendly) driving instructor has a strategic alliance with another driving instructor to handle lessons with (he's like a secondary server that steps in when buffer overflows or something...), and I found that out today, after waiting 10 mins at the Esso station for the friendly guy, not knowing that the other is taking over for the lesson. And he was there waiting besides me, for me. Clarified that only after calling my original (and the better) instructor.

Let's rant about my today's driving instructor, shall I? I shall. I paid good money for it.

I think all instructors should not point out timing faults again and again, each time AFTER they are done. It makes more cow sense to point it out there and then, and give the student THEIR expected timing the next time round. It's like telling people their rhythm is wrong and not giving them the correct one. It's criminal to just say 'too fast' or 'too slow', and never say 'now turn' or 'now stop'.

And it's never encouraging to complain about people being too fast/too slow/too whatever. Instructors should never give their students a sense of hopelessness, or stupidity, for having faults in driving. I think I am entitled to faults, for I AM a learner. If I'm not here to learn to drive better, then what am I here for? To sponsor a new charitable industry?

I like my other instructor because he's the 22 yrs instructor, with the old man (been there, done that, saw everything there is to see...) kind of patience and calmness. He knows where I will make mistakes, and how I should react to them. He doesn't just point out what's wrong, but shows me how to do it correctly, at the right moment. And he's very nifty with the cane. Point here, point there, whack you (gently) if wrong. He's darn paternal.

But I must admit that I am rather adaptable for a new learner. Both complimented that I am rather comfortable in terms of adaptability and learning. Of course lah, I am paying good money to them.

Bambino - Pizza and Pasta

There is this stall in NUS Science canteen that attempts to sell excuses for pizzas and pasta, and at exhorbitant prices. If you have never tried (or even heard about) the stall, keep it that way - The Lord preserves those that He loves.

Their pasta is pathetic. Capital P, bold, underlined, italics, font size 72. Undercooked and bitey to taste, I am sure my mother cooks better pasta with shoestrings than them. And I am not talking about any other mothers but MY mother.

And what about the cream sauce? It's nothing more suspicious than a flour concoction peppered with pepper and salted with salt, trying to pass itself off as 'special mushroom cream sauce'. I must admit that it IS kinda special though. It's 'far beyond anyone's expectations' also.

And those precious mushroom bits that must not have seen any of their kind while swimming in that disgusting floury mixture - how I pity them for their loneliness.

Sometimes I marvel at the tenacity for survival that some business have, in spite of inferior quality unsellable products. This is one of them.

Blackadder

EB goes to visit the Wise Woman in Putney and asks a Young Crone for information

Edmund: Tell me Young crone, is this Putney?
Crone: That it be, that it be.
Edmund: "Yes it is". Not "that it be". You don't have to talk in that stupid voice to me. I'm not a tourist. I seek information about a Wisewoman.
Crone: Ah, the Wisewoman.. the Wisewoman.
Edmund: Yes, the Wisewoman.
Crone: Two things, my lord, must thee know of the Wisewoman. First, she is... a woman, and second, she is ...
Edmund: .. wise?
Crone: You do know her then?
Edmund: No, just a wild stab in the dark which is incidentally what you'll be getting if you don't start being a bit more helpful. Do you know where she lives?
Crone: Of course.
Edmund: Where?
Crone: Here. Do you have an appointment?
Edmund: No.
Crone: Well, you can go in anyway.
Edmund: Thank you Young crone. Here is a purse of moneys... which I'm not going to give to you.

Books

I think I've bought too much leisure books this month. In fact, it seems unbecoming of a miser like me to buy so many books, instead of doing the usual routine of sitting/squatting/dozing off/drooling in Borders/Kino/NLBs.

Books I bought this month:

Blackadder: The Whole Damn Dynasty 1485-1917
by Richard Curtis, Ben Elton, Rowan Atkinson
- Incredibly sarcastic book, dripping with humorous insults. It's totally my cup of tea, with sugar and milk and all.

When We Were Orphans
by KAZUO ISHIGURO
- Haven't read it yet, but I think it's nice.

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
by Douglas Adams
- Book 2 of the The Hitchhiker's Guide collection. Read the series more than twice, and love them for intelligent satire, barbed wit, and comedic dialogue.

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Life, the Universe and Everything
by Douglas Adams
- Book 3.

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
by Douglas Adams
- Book 4.

3 x books on Lateral thinking++
by Edward De Bono
- He's my inspirational source when it come to better patterns of thinking. Not sure which books I bought, but heck, they're worth it.

Speed Reading
by Tony Buzan
- I need to refresh myself on it.

2 x textbooks
by uninteresting authors
- nuff said.

Life Application Study Bible: New International Version
- It's about time.

I need a new book shelf.