Friday, March 31, 2006

The Evil Cat Saga (Part 1 of ... many many more to come)


Ok, here's the situation.

At my brother's place, there's an evil cat. Really evil one. I'm not talking about evil as evil per se, but more of an insiduous evil which smells you from every corner of your living space, ready to pounce out when you're down on your guards. I'm talking about a real criminal-ish evil which very existence threatens the very essence of mankind, ten times worse than any WMD anyone can be hiding in their backyard. If you don't get what I mean, just take it as Dr. Evil kind of Evil. Now don't put your little finger into your mouth, it's unhygenic, tsk...

So, there's the evil cat. In the house. It has been living so freaking long in the house it thinks it's the master of the house. It surveys over everything in the house with a sly eye as if it has been commissioned to do so, but probably because it has no real purpose in life (we call that 'bumming around') but to look cool and act cool in this entrapped environment and make-believe its mastery of its pathetic world.

It hisses (yes it does. Never seen a cat that hisses so much I'm dubious if it can even 'meow'. Never heard it meow, though.) and shows its bloody paws (with full display of claws) when you go near it, so a lot of things happen when it's at the kitchen doorway and your strawberries are conveniently placed in the fridge and you're in the living room, hungry for strawberries.

It also bites. I've never laid my hands on it, nor has any one else save its owners. And the owners get bitten sometimes by it. Never bite the hand that feeds you? Obviously it never heard of that.

So yesterday the landlord and family went for a holiday at Cameron Highland, and left the Diablo in my care. I've to clear its shit, and feed it at specific timings. And while I'm doing that, it doesn't make my job easier by having a cat that's uncomfortable to be without its owners. It gets crankier and bossier, and surveys over every of my actions like my mafia boss [what mafia boss?]

I've half a mind to wrap it in a gunny bag and give it a good shaking, before I throw it out of the house and let it scratch and caterwaul at the door for at least an hour before I let it back into the house, just to let it know who's boss.

Right now I just had a situation with it, leaving it very pissed and locked up at the laundry area, and me also very pissed blogging about it.

Stay tuned for more updates on the evil cat.

Monday, March 27, 2006

To all my BSing friends,

look into James Blunt's "You're Beautiful" and you'll see this:

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Blinking lights




looking out of the window I see 5 taxis lying in wait either for the full midnight surcharge, or for their drivers to come back from their kopi break at the adjacent coffeeshop.

The anomaly was the taxis blinking their waiting signals in synchronity - a rare sight.

Blink.

Blink.

Blink. Blink.

Apparently not all vehicles have waiting signals blinking at a constant fixed rate, as they were soon out of sync. Formulas of periodic signals came annoyingly into my mind as they remind me of how I have studied [and remembered] formulas pertaining to them in the past during engineering class [the horrors!], which I have so successfully shut off from my mind since then.

One formula concerning how different signals of different frequency mixed together [yawn] will produce a system that has another different frequency, similar to the "lowest common multiple" principle we know so familiarly from math class [yawn again.], came and refused to budge in my mind.

I was soon doing practical observation of the vehicles, counting the number of flashes needed before they were in sync again.

One minute of intense concentration later, it dawned on me how sick and tired of my HYP I was, that I would even be digressed by such a trivial anomaly.

Time to go back to the grind.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Lame archer jokes

Q: What did the archer say to his favourite enemy when he didn't hit him?
A: "I missed you"

Q: Does his favourite enemy treat him as an enemy too?
A: Yes, he is his ARCHenemy.

Q: What's the difference between a computer-illiterate archer and a bo-bo computer engineer?
A: One has troubleshooting, and the other has trouble shooting.

Q: Why did the archer hate his OC?
A: Cos he always kena ARROWed.

Q: What is the archer's favourite fish?
A: ARROWana.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Whoppie

The good news is that I am in possession of a condominium and a car for one full month - My brother just flew over to Indonesia for one full month and he left his car and condo in my care.

The bad news is that I have no (not much) time to enjoy the facilities. Talk to my HYP, please, for future meeting arrangements.

Ahh... time to lead an anti-social life (a la Castaway) in the condo, where your commuting route is strictly between the toilet, the computer, and the bed. I expect a full beard when it all ends.

Yikes.

AXS idiots.

Me and my bro were trying to check the existence of an AXS Machine at Changi Airport, so we went online to axs.com.sg to search for one...

we found two:

Changi Airport Terminal 1
Airport Boulevard (Departure Hall, check-in gate)

Changi Airport Terminal 2
Airport Boulevard (Departure Hall, near Starbucks),

and we thought "Terminal 2? Where exactly?" - and we saw a "View Location Button" at the side.

How convenient. So we click.


And this is the picture:

It could very well have been a clue card in "The Amazing Race" - relatively useless.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

The Johari Window post

Since this Mr. Johari is the latest "in" thing of the blogsphere (what? You haven't heard of him? Tsk tsk...), I'm in to.

Tell me more about myself here: Describe Frank in his Johari Window
Or you can see the results here: See Frank in his Johari Window

But don't be a peef (whatever that is), do tell me more about myself first before you see the results.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Touch 2006

The pianist plays a cheesy tune...

Random digressing thoughts in my mind during the piano concert

1) Why, oh why, didn't my mum let me learn piano instead of drawing?!? (I recalled my first landscape painting with BLUE clouds and WHITE sky, and gave an almost audible sigh.)

2) Lemme see who's dozing off... (scans the audience)... heh, so many.

3) If monkeys can read line patterns on leaves and initate some funky dance sequence, would we be as surprised as them looking at a pianist read music scores and play the piano?

4.1) She's pretty, but she's......hmmm... God's fair.
4.2) She's tall and slim, but she's..... hmmmm... God's fair.
4.3) Wah, she can play really well, God's really fair~!

5) My future wife must know how to play the piano, so my child, at a young age, can listen to her play the piano and induce pattern recognition abilities...

6) If one tix is $12, then one theatre is $12 X 300 = $3600, assume costs are.... then....
WAH GOOD PROFIT!

7) Is the musical instrument market as good as zx make it out to be? Can do import/export?

8) Wah shit, my HYP.... die liao lah.

9) Would piano playing still be classy, if they simplify all the description lingo ?
(Adagio =>play slow slow)
(Paventato => play scarily)
(Ponderoso=>whack the bloody keys)

10) Assuming diffraction of sound waves and idealistic reflections on walls, the best sitting positions are....hmmm. Not here.

11) What if the page turner forgets to turn the page?


===================
PS:: I was quite sure the best job ever would be the "page turner" for a pianist in a concert, until N came out as a page turner. Hmm... So pianists actually undergo job rotations as well (pianist<==>page turner), which means there's no permanent position as "page turner".

And I was thinking of what to put on my cover letter and resume already.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Ah Teng

He had been a loanshark from 1984-1992, making his money to buy a house to get married;

He also has a semi-detached in Malaysia;

He dabbled in Lohan fishes, and is supplying vegetable produce from Malaysia to Singapore;

He is into import/export of almost anything profitable, from torchlights and rosewood furniture in China, to wooden handicrafts by prison inmates;

He is also my taxi driver for the midnight as well.

We exchanged phone numbers and had a 30min conversation in his cab, about how he made and lost and again made his little fortune. He told me how I should try.

He also promised to send me some more details and photo samples of possible import/export products from his contacts in China, once they come through.

Interesting guy.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Two Saucy English Sods on MSN

White Cow::

seems like pple are mugging for 3211 or some crap

Baba Black Sheep::

you don't say...it's tomorrow!

White Cow::

yeap i know, i m looking for pple to go for a cup of tea, not asking them to join me for some hots or some crap.

Anyone interested in joining me for a cup of tea?

A spot of milk will be fabulous thank you very much.

Baba Black Sheep::

straight from a delicious gal?

White Cow::

Lol. I prefer to do the milking in that case!

Baba Black Sheep::

if you find that too troublesome, I don't mind helping out.

White Cow::

lol

i was trying to act english

how's the weather?

are you interested to join me for a cup of afternoon tea?

Baba Black Sheep::

cuppa tea?

White Cow::

a spot of milk will be greatly appreciated

Baba Black Sheep::

It would be lovely, you charming sod.

White Cow::

and an english muffin to go with it will be absolutely smashing

Baba Black Sheep::

So how'd it be, old chap?

White Cow::

darn

darn

stupid paper

utterly disappointing

White Cow::

why would i care of active feedback UIUC trec 2003 HARD experiments

or model-based feedback in the language modeling approach to info retrieval

Baba Black Sheep::

Whatever you've just typed out from your ditty fingers - whatever it is - I'm sure they are very appealing, if I bothered to give a damn to find out what they are.

White Cow::

Absolutely.. It is just a tad boring, considering this fine weather here where we ought to be frolicking with those damsels..

Baba Black Sheep::

up their skirts..... is where we should be concentrating our efforts, eh?

White Cow::

a tad off, Mr Dear Baba Black Sheep.. I was presuming that the target is to get into their skirts (or pants)

Baba Black Sheep::

that's a jolly thought! For a while, I was acting strangely decent for my own good

White Cow::

whether it is from the front or the back would absolutely be determined on the taste which my excellent Mr Baba Black Sheep preferred

yeap.. we would absolutely be in for a smashing time, ol' chap

Baba Black Sheep::

I'd very much appreciate a change of environment every now and then, lest it gets a diddly bit too boring

How'd about it, old git...?

You and me...

we'll hitch a cunning plan to get ourselves laid sometimes not too far in the future

White Cow::

ahhh devious!

that is an utterly brilliant thought!

Baba Black Sheep::

…preferably after saucing them up in dashes of the witches' brew in some joint

White Cow::

My word, why didnt i think of that!

sounds naughty!

Baba Black Sheep::

ohh hoo ho.... naughty doesn't even begin to describe the naughtiness

White Cow::

we will be in for a jolly good time …rocking them …ahhhh.....

Baba Black Sheep::

absolutely smashin and delightful

White Cow::

absolutely!

Well, shouldnt we commence into our grand plan soon?

Baba Black Sheep::

ooooh what a splendid time we'll have, jovial fellow..

White Cow::

totally right my dear Baba Black Sheep

Baba Black Sheep::

but there's an old cow I'd have to kill before I can even stop to marvel at my ingenious plan

White Cow::

o lo behold.. which old cow ?

Baba Black Sheep::

I call it the FYP

White Cow::

Oh.

i was wondering whether the lad from down under will be interested in joining us in the fray

he's kinda snobbish with that queer "howdy" greetings he has with him

Baba Black Sheep::

who's this remarkable lad from below?

We'll have to put in a recommendation to get him up soon, then~!

White Cow::

splendid

Baba Black Sheep::

per chance I'd be knowing him in the past?

White Cow::

i am afraid so.. if your memory is not failing u. He has a queer taste for carriages powered by something known as the engines..

White Cow::

mystical instruments from the devil!

Baba Black Sheep::

forgive me, my good sir - my memory hasn't proven it's worth in my capacity these few weeks

White Cow::

ahh i can see that you are getting on with age.. my dear Baba Black Sheep..

Baba Black Sheep::

he wouldn't be Mediterranean, would he?

White Cow::

absolutely not

Baba Black Sheep::

I'd very much guess so

Baba Black Sheep::

so let's ponder a bit more, to spice up the old cells...

White Cow::

you should pay him a visit one day my dear Baba Black Sheep

White Cow::

http://litemax.blogspot.com. that is his abode.

Baba Black Sheep::

AHHH....

White Cow::

humble but cosy

Baba Black Sheep::

at first contact, I thought him to be a native of the land down under

White Cow::

very much soon i afriad

Baba Black Sheep::

my old brain didn't manage to link up with the thoughts of our mutual friend there~! Silly me

White Cow::

n i see with disdain as he feeds on something known as "fried rice" or what he would say "simple Fare"

White Cow::

and give our baked beans on toast a miss

White Cow::

to my absolute horror

Baba Black Sheep::

but with his excellent track records of non-regard for our interests, I'd best think to leave him in his own activities

Baba Black Sheep::

and he's not even into Grey Earl! The thought!

White Cow::

yes horror of horros

White Cow::

horrors

Baba Black Sheep::

shudders down my spine

Baba Black Sheep::

my good sir, in the likely event that my old cow will be done away with in the very near future of less than a quick month....

I'd best put my feet down on a date where we would delight in our cunning plan

White Cow::

till the next full moon, a date it shall be

Baba Black Sheep::

unfortunately not anywhen before then, for I'm still very much obliged to it, for a certain piece of paper I'm not sure if I would even find useful

(I hope the quality is good, lest I suffer abrasion near my exit)

White Cow::

i do understand My Dear Baba Black Sheep

i shall take my leave soon my dear Baba Black Sheep

Baba Black Sheep::

perhaps we should adjourn to our afternoon cuppa, then

White Cow::

the gym beckons afar.. and i have to leave

Baba Black Sheep::

ooh...~! gym~! delightful

White Cow::

absolutely

Baba Black Sheep::

till then, I bide you good time and luck with the ladies

White Cow::

you too my Dear Baba Black Sheep

White Cow::

live merry

Hope

This is the exact image in my mind, when I think of my HYP.

Out of the loop

Tammy who?

Monday, March 06, 2006

Je suis le merde...

I spent 3 hours to just get an icon out on my Tcl/Tk program. How great can the going be?

And it's a plain text icon. * Gasps! *