Friday, March 31, 2006

The Evil Cat Saga (Part 1 of ... many many more to come)

Ok, here's the situation.

At my brother's place, there's an evil cat. Really evil one. I'm not talking about evil as evil per se, but more of an insiduous evil which smells you from every corner of your living space, ready to pounce out when you're down on your guards. I'm talking about a real criminal-ish evil which very existence threatens the very essence of mankind, ten times worse than any WMD anyone can be hiding in their backyard. If you don't get what I mean, just take it as Dr. Evil kind of Evil. Now don't put your little finger into your mouth, it's unhygenic, tsk...

So, there's the evil cat. In the house. It has been living so freaking long in the house it thinks it's the master of the house. It surveys over everything in the house with a sly eye as if it has been commissioned to do so, but probably because it has no real purpose in life (we call that 'bumming around') but to look cool and act cool in this entrapped environment and make-believe its mastery of its pathetic world.

It hisses (yes it does. Never seen a cat that hisses so much I'm dubious if it can even 'meow'. Never heard it meow, though.) and shows its bloody paws (with full display of claws) when you go near it, so a lot of things happen when it's at the kitchen doorway and your strawberries are conveniently placed in the fridge and you're in the living room, hungry for strawberries.

It also bites. I've never laid my hands on it, nor has any one else save its owners. And the owners get bitten sometimes by it. Never bite the hand that feeds you? Obviously it never heard of that.

So yesterday the landlord and family went for a holiday at Cameron Highland, and left the Diablo in my care. I've to clear its shit, and feed it at specific timings. And while I'm doing that, it doesn't make my job easier by having a cat that's uncomfortable to be without its owners. It gets crankier and bossier, and surveys over every of my actions like my mafia boss [what mafia boss?]

I've half a mind to wrap it in a gunny bag and give it a good shaking, before I throw it out of the house and let it scratch and caterwaul at the door for at least an hour before I let it back into the house, just to let it know who's boss.

Right now I just had a situation with it, leaving it very pissed and locked up at the laundry area, and me also very pissed blogging about it.

Stay tuned for more updates on the evil cat.

No comments: