Probably the gaiest post ever. Ever ever.

Him:
hi darling
Me:
ah, my hunny bunny
Him:
what's been keeping u bz
Me:
gyms, going out, rotting at home
Me:
yup, that's what's buzy
Him:
gym! that explains the rippling muscles
Me:
going for the realrun?
Me:
no lah, that's a new thing altogether.
Him:
what real run
Me:
google for it
Me:
it's on 26th Aug
Him:
i won't be here anymore darling
Me:
oh blimey.
Me:
so what've been keeping you flying about, my humming bird?
Him:
mostly meeting friends and chilling out
Him:
u aren't the jealous type are u?
Me:
not really. I'm quite convenient with non-exclusiveness
Me:
you do realise, that I'm not exclusive to you too, darl?
Him:
wow
Him:
looks like we were really meant for each other
Me:
for each other and more, my saccharine...
Him:
oh my honey cupcake!
Me:
my sweet cabbage!

Asshole

I think greeting someone you've just been introduced to as 'Asshole' is undeniably unforgivable and tells your level of EQ (none)and IQ (none as well). There can be no acceptable reason for such behaviour, unless he really does have an anus for a face, (in which case you would do better by checking for a face where his/her asshole is), or he turns out to be someone you have no interest in maintaining any cordial relationship with (say, an insurance agent, or a tax collector).

What was the reason he gave?
That I had a face of pent up frustrations, and it was an attempt to help me let it all out via a burst of outrage. Fucking lousy attempt that is. No one has the rights or foresight to see an asshole of a person that he has met for the first time. Not even if he looks like one. And certainly no one has the rights to make such a one-off judgement on me if he doesn't know me enough to make a judgement. (If he is a friend that has known me for some time, there would be reason to justify his statement and I would be happy to introspect on why I'm an asshole in his/her eyes.)

I can only see a smirk smart alec at the insulting end, with foul excrements for brain contents. Lucky he stopped square dead when I challenged him, or this would be the 2nd time in my entire life that I've gotten into a fight. And that might indeed help me in venting some of my pent up frustrations/anger/rage.

But there are better ways to do this, and that is why many countries organise peace summits and peace talks with their enemies, instead of engaging in mindless bloodshed.

When you asked me if I had changed, I remember I said yes. About studies being not the main priority anymore, and living a fuller life is. And I did say something about being responsible to myself now that I'm not young anymore, along that line.

But I'm not sure if I'm totally happy about these changes with me, or if I'm even acceptable with it subconciously. There seems to be a cess pool building up within, something of the vilest stench, something plain bad.

Maybe there has been too much undulations in my life these two years (which forced the change) - made me realise what I want is different from what I need, what I can get is different from what I want, and what I need is different from what I can get. An annoyingly situation where everything is in almost perfectly exclusiveness from each other. Or maybe I'm trying too much to fit in with the definitions of others, of what's good and what's meaningful in the world. It's not me. Or am I just changing?

While I'm living a more interesting life compared to then, everything seems so unstructured now. Nothing seems permanent and reliable anymore, not even myself though I try to be. I would like to call it a sense of dynamism, but it reeks of a quiet desperation to just be. Maybe I try too hard at it. Or maybe I just haven't gotten what I want and need yet.

I think I'm getting myself lost more and more in the lallang, searching for a space I can call my own.

Beautiful Son by Without Gravity

Beautiful Son by Without Gravity

A gentle, slow-moving ballad, 'Beautiful Son' 's smooth vocals create the unlikely impression of Sadé singing a Ben Harper song. And, as lyrics written in a second language, lines like "Where have you gone / What have you done, my beautiful son" bear a touching simplicity. This is a song for a reflective moment, glass of wine in hand.
~Chris Watkeys

I saw a spider

crawling on someone's shirt collar in the bus today. It was a medium-sized creature, one of those long-legged small-bodied type which probably couldn't kill anything more than a fly with its venom. But still, it was a sizeable spider, and it was crawling on someone's shirt collar, black arachnid on white cloth - it couldn't have stood out more.

The thing is, not one person pointed it out to the poor old lady or made any attempt to get it off her shirt. Perhaps it's the Singaporean mentality.

If it doesn't concern me and it's not a big matter, don't bother about it.
If it doesn't concern me and it's a big matter, run for it.

If it concerns me, make a big hoohaa of it.
And If no one bothers about me, cuss 'em.

That's the way a lot of Singaporeans are.

As she flicked the spider off her shirt when it came into her view, I do not know whether she was openly cussing the spider or silently cussing everyone else in the bus, me included.


======================
WHAT DID I DO RECENTLY?
Went wakeboarding with zk, shiyu, wenzheng, and huiyi on Sunday. Shiyu's a new convert ('When are we wakeboarding again??'), but I'm getting quite skinny in the wallet and may not be wakeboarding for a very long time to come. Still thinking how to raise money for my driving lessons IF I fail the first time round. Touchwood, but must still consider...

Went for a free movie marathon @ Cathay Cineleisure on Monday, the occassion being Cathay's 70th Anniversary. Watched Batman Begins, Bimmer, Sin-City, and Be With You. This is the 1.25th time I'm watching Sin-City, as me and yy watched a bit of it on Sat night (we left halfway as yy tot it too gruesome) with free tix joey gave me... Great show, despite the blood and gore. Or is it BECAUSE of the blood and gore? Heh.

Was seeing the transcript of the NKF trial in ST Interactive (it was one of those rare gems that ST DOES NOT CHARGE subscription for), and I'm quite definite I do not want to cross the path of Mr. Singh, or any other lawyers of his calibre. The way he cross-examines Durai, his gambits, his logical leadings.. are quite something to behold.

Why is there no spoofy blogs under the name of T. Durai or something similar (T. Durain)? It would have been so interesting. And so sue-able.

Subject Drop - Pernice Brothers

Subject Drop by the Pernice Brothers

Let the subject drop.. X 2

*
To be honest I forgot
The impetus is gone
discarded like a less than mediocre song

It's getting old
there's nothing quite as pretty as the one you can never hold
As sad as a man
get himself together if he could but he can't

Don't talk to me that way
I die a little more every time you say

You were so sweet
You stop the whole procession when you drop your lace handkerchief
You were so strong
I crumbled like a city underneath that (something?)

**
Don't talk to me that way
I die a little more every time you say
Don't talk to me that way
Reconciling's out of reach go to sleep
Let the subject drop
Let the subject drop

Repeat *
Repeat **

Let the subject drop... X 4

Woah!

CIRL Lab changed its door lock to a nifty contactless smartcard reader! I'm pleasantly surprised. No more getting your Matric card out from wallet and engaging in vain attempts to cajole the insensitive contact pins of those old card readers! Shiok shiok, my man...

Frank's onion-layered perspective on Life, the Universe and everything Insignificant

What one person does in his day to day life has got a lot to do with his entire macroscopic view on Life itself (and what he had for lunch), and to understand me better, you'll need to know that my onion has 4 layers (and, of course, what I had for lunch.)


This is not my lunch today. Or any other day.

LAYER 1
The first layer has direct effects on day to day operations, and it is a transient truth that can, and should, be taken at face value. Going too deep will eventually hit the next layer below to emit obnoxious tear-jerking gases, so don't try. It is none other than the alltime favourite mantra of living - gasps now - 'THE WORLD SUX'. Murphy Brown-ish, yes.

Simple truth to everyday living. THE WORLD SUX. Period. It is reflected around me all the time: The bus just left (groan); more work to be done? (groan); mouth ulcers (groan!); back-stabbers and takers (moan); no gf (hmm...); no parking space; friend comes late for appointment (grrr...); paper cuts (ouch!); lousy TV shows (expected?); no money (always); pimple outbreak; misplaced keys; the baby from next door who patiently decorates your walls with his crayon set; bird shits on you, on your presentation day..... and the list goes on. Life at this level is filled with imperfections and sucky situations that everyone wishes otherwise. If there's anyone who has a firm grasp of this eternal truth, it would be Marvin.

LAYER 2
Past layer 1 is an altogether different flavoured layer - a layer that smells of hope , improvement, and everything cheerful. It is a layer that believes with efforts invested, things can change for the better. Alrighty, so the world is sucky, but that doesn't mean that we can sit around and mope till kingdom comes, eh? Things can change. Heck, if our ancestors can start off with one smart alec who 'went where no one had gone before' by climbing down the tree, we can do better, can't we? We're a generation that pride ourselves on creating pepsis, cokes and brain-freezing Slurpees, so how bad can things get?

Not exactly the best of buddies

With luck and sheer determination, we can find that elusive parking spot; we can also engage in SMSes till the next bus comes along, if I happen to be addressing a member of the non-driving population. And you'll find your gf/bf. =)

Sheer will power

LAYER 3
I believe in alternating my flavours, so this layer's a tad bit bitter. It is none other than the truer than true mantra of Life, Non-life, and Everything Half-alive and/or Half-dead - NO MATTER HOW YOU TRY TO IMPROVE YOUR SITUATION, IT IS EVENTUALLY USELESS and/or MEANINGLESS.

You'll still face a lack of parking spot the next time you drive in Orchard; your next bus will still be later than the usually mythical 'usual timing'; the kid next door will be grow up to be a belligerent artist who experiments with paints at your expense (heck, he may even be your kid!); there is no such thing as a lifetime quota for birdshits on your head.

Polly wants a cracker after crapping.

There's only so much that you can do with your life, and in the end, perfection is out of reach for all of us. We can die while trying to attain perfection, but utopia is always out of reach for us. We will find all that we've done to be meaningless chasing after the wind, a pursuit of vanity in life's vanity fairs, a seed sowed and lost in a field of lallangs. Yes, even the human loves we have (agape love; storge love; philia; and romantic love) are transient and meaningless when extrapolated to the grand purpose of life. And of course, the incompleted assignments dued 2 days before are inconsequential to most things when held in such comparative comparisons.

What we can do is to make our own pathetic meaning in this short period of time we have left in this world filled with imperfections.

LAYER 4

...is the glue that holds everything together, and it's not the number 42. This would be akin to gravity (it's weak in real life compared to the other forces, but it's the only force that transcends over timespace fabric.) It would be the knowledge that everything will come to pass, and one day you'll be alright. It really doesn't matter even if you're a bankrupt that has gone through 5 divorces, 15 retrenchments, or even the vietnam war; have a hideous looking face that not even a mother could love; have several botox jobs . Your feet will be set on ground once more, and whatever you've done will not change this fact.

Everything will come to pass, and imperfections will be set right. So, don't fret even if you just got fired. One day we will be alright.

War of the World!

Is a great show. Must watch! I watched it today with ZX, ZK, and Shiyu @ Orchard Cathay.

Had 许留山's 粒粒芒果爽 for desserts after that, and I am not pleasantly surprised by the concoction.

The mango liquids was too concentrated (though it is good for it to be thick), and should have been ice-blended with ice; the mango cubes were too small (though it can be sucked up through the straw), and should have been larger (allowing for eating with spoon).

But I do admit it's much better than the one @ Holland Road Shopping Centre. I'm just trying to nitpick for the perfect one here.

Saturday night and a gorgeous babe

It seemed hardly proper to be at someone's 21st birthday party when you do not know her (or any of her other friends) personally. Hardly proper, but a necessary attendance to ensure that her bf is not left hanging around by himself talking to walls, refridgerators, or any other inanimate objects. ZH owes me a favour for this, heh. It's a relatively new relationship, and ZH hasn't properly integrated with her family and friends yet, hence the need for me to come in as a filler putty.

How does and how should a bf/gf integrate him/herself into his/her counterpart's social circle, relatives included? This is a multi-faceted problem that has plagued many (including me) for many moons, and I think will plague me for many moons to come....

So ZH and me spent all our time eating away, chatting away on trivialities, shuffling about the room, surveying the room for passing chio bus, and watching TV. In essence, the food and party were decent, but I've failed ZK in getting 3 telephone numbers from hot babes during the party - mainly because most failed QC, and the rest were attached. But there was one hot babe that I paid special attention to (and I think she quite take favourably to me.) Her name is Zihui.

She's really a gorgeous babe, with sweet innocent doe eyes and all. Her hair smelt of talcum powder and sweat as I held her in my arms, but it was all quite pleasant to me. She has a thing for fruits (I took 4 pieces of watermelon and 1 piece of honeydew for her while we were sitting down on the sofa watching TV together), as well as clockworks (she was fascinated by my watch and I took it off for her to tinker with it for a while). It was only later when her mom came over and saw us together that she parted from me to rejoin her mother...

When the party was over, ZH and I left for home, and it is at this point that I must complain about TransIsland's inefficiency. Why does it take 30 min for 67 to depart from Tampines Interchange????!? ARgrgh.

Gong home wasn't really going home for me, but rather going to Wendy's place near my house - we played bridge and big2 till 3am. What fun. I'm a compulsive bridge/big2 player. Sue me.

And yes, my preference is Bridge, Big2, and Mahjong, in that order.

The earlier part of the day was spent playing badminton (with yy, her friend, and zk), table tennis (with the super pro zk), and attending FUN Comics lesson @ Orchard Library. All I can say of the lesson is that I have creative aspirations unmatched by my ability to draw anything decently. I can't even draw stick figures properly, dammit.

Runs to look out for

I should be joining these 2 runs below:: those interested please tell me.

1. New Balance REAL Run
Date: 28th August 2005 Sunday
Flag-off: 8.30am
Start & End: Gateway Carpark, Sentosa
Registration Ends: 31st July 2005
Link: http://www.realrun.com.sg/event.html
ROAD 6KM / SAND 1.6KM / TRAIL 2.4KM

Registration Fee*: S$20.00 per person (Entitles the participant to entry into Sentosa, an exclusive New Balance Lightning Dry T-shirt, a goodie bag and a chance to win attractive prizes in the lucky draw.

Joey and Chee wee have already confirmed attendance (cannot dua me hor!)

2.
Date: Saturday 18 September 2005
Event Name : DBS NUS Heritage Run
Organized by : NUS Heritage Run Organising Committee
Sanctioned by : Singapore Amateur Athletic Association (SAAA)
Venue : Bukit Timah Campus and NUS Kent Ridge
Link: http://www.nus.edu.sg/centennial/challenge/run/

Who's interested? Zqueen and Eu and yy and jy and elisa?

Typical day

of driving. By now, I'm sure that driving instructors are well-versed in giving consecutive conflicting instructions, just to make their job more interesting (and your's more terrible.)

'Go faster! Change to lower gear! Overtake! See lah, You never go faster then overtake liao, like that how? And you never change to lower gear? Sheesh.'

What what what? Who said what to do what??

It's like saying 'Doyouwantafreetickettojapan,no?okthen.'

=====

Went to Newton Circus for dinner with Eu, zqueen, yy, and the China Trip pple. Found out yy moved to Bkt Panjang recently, so no longer near NUS. Awww.... so sad. Travelling sux.

Amazing Glow - Pernice Brothers

A rare and wicked skill
to change her light or weather
No room was spared
no mood shown her mercy
I was a tireless fool
I thought I could do better
I left in flames
a paper shade hanging from her light

And when it came to the wrecking ball
She swung it effortlessly like it had no weight at all
And when it came to the victories
The cheaters stank of all the flowers that were feeding off her amazing glow
da da da da da.......

I changed my masterplan
I changed my friends and city
I go to sleep
I still wake up screaming
A dream so full of grief you think I would know better
I try to stay off a new day from rising

And when it came to the wrecking ball
She swung it effortlessly like it had no weight at all
And when it came to the victories
The cheaters stank of all the flowers that were feeding off her amazing glow
her amazing glow
her amazing glow
da da da da da.......

today?

Today was tennis, bowling, and table tennis with melvin, junwei, and joey. Tiring but fun.

Oh, and I scored 179 for bowling, with a turkey in it! Think it's my highest ever!

It is impossible to read

.dll files, and that's a fact I forgot.

When ZK told me he wanted me to analyse some C++ files important for his personal project, I should have realised that the .dll files he was mentioning are COMPILED C++ codes - which means that they cannot be read by HUMANS at all (if you can, you're a freak. So I'm still correct in the prior statement.)

"Ah? Ok lor... send to me I try to read lah... Try only hor?" should not have been my reply to him.

====
A Lot Like Love is a good movie to watch - please bring your bf/gf to watch. Ginn and I watched it at Jurong Point this morning - and the two of us literally booked the whole theatre for 107mins at a mere price of $14. Awesome film, great theatre.

Gym @ Fitness First, Paragon - with ZK

Hmm. I think I'm getting quite partial to FREE gym sessions. I think they are twice (or more) as effective as normal circuit trainings, and infinitely more comfortable.

But I think gym membership fees are crazy! Definitely not for students not earning their own keep (even if your father/mother can afford it, it's still quite illegal).

I've given the gal at the Fitness First counter some of my favourite friends' (yes, your's!) number, so you guys/gals should be expecting some lengthy calls from their salesperson who's trying not to sound desperate for your application to the club. They should be offering you a free one time trial of their gym, so it's not a bad idea to play along with them to get the free trial.

ZK has a one month pass and one more free trial tix, so I should be going there again when my muscles recover from the strains.

========

Had dinner with Jeff and Tjio, old frens from army days. Ended talking about the current comp. eng. industry as well as the current politic/economics/social situation around the world with Jeff and Zk (he tagged along after gym). I think I'm too bochup and ignorant of all the going ons around the world.

I only know Lee Hsian Long is our PM.

Hmm.... Should start paying more attention to them for my own future benefits, hmmm...

This is a very useless search engine.

If you're trying hard to find out more on movie details at cinemas in Singapore, you definitely don't want to use this website http://www1.catcha.com.sg/cgi-bin/movies/search.cgi

My search for ALL Title, ALL Cinema, ALL Date, ALL Time returned no results. And guess what? The search only allows for the "ALL" option on all the categories. Sheesh.

Pernice Brothers - Discover a Lovelier You (Indie Rock)

I think I've struck gold in the album 'Discover a Lovelier You'.

'...There are certain CDs that make me sigh with delight. Like a good yoga class or a sunny day (somewhat rare here in Seattle), they create an involuntary release — the tension that settles in my shoulders dissolves while that CD spins. Thank goodness, the Pernice Brothers make that kind of music....' --Paige Newman (MSNBC)

I am having troubles finding the marvellous lyrics to their songs (apparantly they do not post their lyrics online - a bid to make people buy their albums)

There are three songs you can listen to in the MSNBC review below, of which I love 'Subject Drop'!
MSNBC Review

Better still go to their website's AV to look at their MTVs. Personal favourite is 'Weakest Shade of blue'.

MILK run

has no links whatsoever with the dairy association of Singapore - it stands for Mainly I Love Kids run. And no, there are no underlying paedophilic subtleties/meanings associated with the MILK run - it's organised by Shine Singapore, a cash rich government backed organisation that promotes community development (i.e. where our taxpayers' money is diverted back.)

MILK run 2005 held today was real bad, in the sense that it made me come to realise that I'm not a proficient jogger after all. I took 56min to complete 10.3km! That's freaking slow lah! That translates to coming in behind 169 guys and 11 girls.... malu. I'm not sure of the exact attendance, but there's 8505 runners, out of which 1500 MAY be running competitive. Following this aggarration, I'm only in the top 11% of the runners. Sheesh.

I guess it's because I have not trained myself to go this distance - I normally jog 4km only, and I must admit I was quite fast in the initial 4km of the 10.3km run...but for the rest of the run, I progressively slowed down to snail speed.

Another reason (or excuse) is that my New Balance shoes (not the SAF ones) are lousy. Have I said before that my shoes are so shock absorbent that there's practically very little rebound/recoil to aid you in running? Comparing my brother's Brooks against it, I found my New Balance to be very efficient at sucking energy - they're like a vast ocean that no amount of heating with a heating coil can heat up.

Scouting and me

Whenever I feel inadequate and lost in bouts of disappointments with life and myself, I am reminded of the scout hymn as a song of encouragement. This is despite the fact that I have no more associations, and would no longer like to draw any association, with the Scout Movement.

I recall a period of pure fervency towards Scouting during my secondary and junior college years. It is true that the higher one climbs, the harder one falls. Scouting has opened many doors for me later, but all I have failed in their expectations to enter. It has shown me my inadequacies, and for that I am ashamed to have ever been a President's Scout. That is why I do not like to mention that fact. I don't deserve to be one.

The remnants of my scouting life are a few true blue friends whom I can always rely on (to fail me, to hang out, to bully, to insult, to abuse++) - Kelly and Chee wee, mainly.

No matter that I no longer associate myself with the Scout Movement - the Scout Hymn does still reflect certain values and spirits that I hold onto.

Now as I start upon my chosen way
In all I do - my thoughts, my work, my play
Grant has I promise courage new for me
To be the best - the best that I can be

Help me to keep my honour shining bright
May I be loyal in the hardest fight
Let me be able for my task and then
To earn a place among my fellow men

Open my eyes to see things as I should
That I may do my daily turn of good
Let me be ready, waiting for each need
To keep me clean, in thoughts and word and deed

So as I journey on my chosen way
In all I do - my thoughts, my work, my play
Grant has I promise, courage new for me
To be the best - the best that I can be.

The Scout Hymn you're listening to now is from the Album "Echoes of Sarimbun"

I think Shiyu's sister's wedding

was the grandest thing I've ever been to.

Ritz Carlton Grand Ballroom, 88 tables, with 2 tables filled up by judges (2 tables of 10 judges = +/-20 judges), including the Chief Justice himself is not something I've seen before.

And the cuckoo-of-a-receptionist here doesn't know that judges go by the title of Justice...

Me: Sir, your name please?
Him: Justice Choo.
(Me thinking to myself what a funny firstname he has... I've heard of Justin, but never Justice..who does he think he is? Justice Bao?)
Going down the surname-ordered list, I found no Mr. Choo with the firstname of Justice...

Me: Justice.... nope. Sorry sir, your name's not here.
Him: Try Choo Han Teck.
Me: Ah, very good sir, your table number is 30 (or 31, can't remember).

and it's after hearing a few people calling themselves Justice then I realise something's not right. A sudden recall that Shiyu's sis is a lawyer and a quick reference to the name-and-table-number-and-relationship list (the relationships with the above crowd were plainly stated as 'Judges' ) confirmed that I was a cuckoo without any doubts.

DISCLAIMER: IN NO WAY ARE MY REFERENCES TO JUDGES MEANT TO BE INSULTIVE IN NATURE. AND I REALLY THINK JUSTICE CHOO AND JUSTICE BAO ARE COOL GUYS. PLEASE DON'T SUE ME.

Dammit.

There's some virus/exploitation going on in my computer, under the process name msserv*** (thank god it's not running within a system process!), which keeps doing heavy network scanning and make my internet slow down to a halt. My browser and Messenger couldn't work while it's doing mayhem. It's attacking the microsoft-ds port 445.... How did I get it? Most importantly, how do I get rid of it?? Garrgrh.

Avast is not catching anything yet, but I've been able to find and disable the malicious process and allow my browser (and Messenger) to work. So far so bad, but so far so good... This is sort-of under control, but makes me wonder what else is going on in the background.

It's nature is similar to the one below:
Similar virus

This is the 2nd time a virus/exploit problem has happened to me in recent times, the first being me sending a virus-ed link (by some virus in my comp)to elisa - but that's a weird case, cos it was an isolated case, and the virus can't be found... Or perhaps it's the same virus... hmmm... probably not.

I think I got them while downloading stuff to install in my replacement harddisk.

Eels - Things The Grandchildren Should Know

Lyrics

I think Singapore is getting hotter and hotter.

Ok, I don't just think it's getting hotter. I confirm it's getting hotter. There are more bush fires nowadays (bush fires? Really?); leftover food on the table is rotting faster than normal; and the most significant issue at hand is I'm sweltering like a pig at night more often than not.

I'm not sure if there's a link, but do you notice the presence of more biggie butterflies than usual? Some eco-system thingy, perhaps?