Wednesday, February 23, 2005


are days when you get lavished upon when you were young, and dread when you get older.

I am not totally into birthdays, not even my own.

Just as Prof. Sun Teck commented about V-day when I approached him to buy flowers for his wife, 'I don't need a day to show attention to someone who's special to me. I show it in what I do everyday.'

Likewise, if I am important to anyone, I don't need a day to prove how important I am to anyone. Or do I?

Now there seems to be a fallacy in my thinking as well as Sun Teck's, but the reasons do not run parallel to each other.

Girls do like to be serenaded and showered with presents once in a while (I think), never mind how you treat them everyday. It keeps the spice in life, and all I can think of Sun Teck is that he's too miserly/unromantic to be moved into actions. Maybe he's dulled by the years past, and there's really no need for sparks in his marriage (is this possible?), and what's left of his marriage is a partnership too eroded to be refreshing, yet too entrenched to be broken off. Pity to it if that's the case, but who am I to say that this won't happen to me? I am, after all, an uninteresting bloke merely trying to survive, and not living a terribly vibrant life.

And why don't birthdays matter to me? Perhaps it's my own bleak outlook on life. Perhaps I am afraid to find out how insignificant I am to everyone else, that there's no one who loves me enough to celebrate my living. Frank's a joker well-liked, but never loved.

Ok, this is getting too dark and depressing. I shall curtly end it here, and enjoy the serenity the night bestows upon NUS.

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