Edmund

Fear me. Fear me a lot.

I have come into possession of a great artifact, cursedly sworn upon by many to create massive destruction, its vileness matched only by a spontaneous rendition of La Vie En Rose by the Teletubbies (not one, but all of the teletubbies!)

I am talking about the book titled Black Adder: The Whole Damn Dynasty. It's literally dripping with sarcastic rebutts and abusive humour.

Challenge me, and face unparalleled witty repartee. I will make you wish you never existed.

Ok, I can't think of anythingcynical and deadly to rebuke you with now, but once I've mastered the mean language used by the great Edmund against Percy and his Whatshisname sidekick, I will make you wish you can crawl back into your mother's womb and turn back to the pre-lifeform substance that you once were.

Fear me.