Monday, September 26, 2005

Administrative Trivialities

On coming back to my room in PGP, I was greeted with a whimsical piece of news concerning the rules and regulations of PGP residence. This is a codified version of the news.

// FUNCTION: nothing_better_to_do
// PURPOSE: To divert residence’s attention from all the other problems (which the
// Adminstration can do everything about, but does absolutely nothing)
// that plague their stay in PGP.
// ARGUMENTS: Oh yah, there will be many arguments with the Admin…
// RETURN: Absolutely nothing. That’s what’s so extremely wonderful about this fancy
// schmancy new procedure.
Void nothing_better_to_do(residence_corridor, box)
Cleaners_check_corridors_for_shoes_and_dump_into_box (residence_corridor, box);
Set_box_location(box, end_of_corridor);
If (day == Monday)
day = next_day(day);

The formal reason for implementing this is their concern on how we place our own shoes near our door steps, in fashions that so expertly demonstrates our mathematical knowledge of Randomness and Probabilities, and endanger our lives in times of fire.

While I sincerely believe in how precious our lives are to the country and similar communities, I am not really of the opinion that 1 or 2 pairs of shoes lying outside every door can cause any intelligent individuals of decent walking capabilities to trip over and die really horrible deaths in the unlikely event of a fire (kitchen fire arising from satay-man wannabes not included) in the 4.5 feet wide corridor.

If any DO trip over and die terrible deaths, I am then in doubt of their intelligence and whether they should still be living in the first place, in which case their death MAY be timely justified, so there’s no problem in the first place.

However I am also of the opinion that intelligent individuals of decent walking capabilities, do, if I may so assume, wear shoes/slippers every time he/she locates hermself out/in of his/her room (ok, I’m sick of non-gender discrimination issues. I’ll use X instead.). And assuming also that X often transposes Xself from X’s room, it is natural to place X's shoes AT the doorsteps because shoes are meant to be worn on the feet, which are used to walk down the corridor, if I may again so boldly assume. Where else should shoes be placed? At the windows? INSIDE the room? At the immaculately designed shoe racks located at the remote end of the corridor?

I guess I will be the kind of person who wakes up to find my shoes NOT at my doorstep, walks barefeet to the box at the end of the corridor and retrieves my shoes from it (not without muttering a few elegantly pronounced obscenities undermy morning breath), scratches my backside, and proceed to the toilet for a pee-and-brush. And I think this is what a lot of us will be doing (including the muttering.)

I am glad at paying good money to Admin to bother us with such meaningless trifles to distract us from their inaction at maintaining the surroundings (tables, kitchen, aircon++). I don’t think there’s any better way at spending our money, other than using them for confetti at our best friends’ weddings - but if you do, I’ll be glad to attend any weddings with you.

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