Tuesday, September 06, 2005

I have rants~~! I have rants~~! Hear me rant~~!

2.RANT 2
Why are communal bathrooms always a breeding ground for viruses and diseases?

And why did I kena worts after barely a month in pgp?

Liquid nitro treatment is all the more a torture because of the travelling I must do to Wellness Center...(but contrary to popular belief, the treatment is fun - burning yourself always is, isn't it? [hiak hiak])

3.RANT 3
This may pertain to all you handsome but shy hunks out there.

Remember a time when you were young and have absolutely no shame whatsoever in pissing all over the floor in jovial delight, while your father/mother/daughter/son watch you in horror, and your dog watch in admiration at this 2-legged feat?

How we cower now in the face of the omni-present auntie who washes the toilet in most (if not all) shopping centers! She's always flitting around in endless rounds of serveillance, while we guys abandon the urinals to the more desperate others and head for the cubicles (an asylum from her diabolical reach.) instead.

We cower away from her invasive inquisition into our private businesses, engaging in vain helpless attempts to preserve whatever little dignity we have left inside us (and our pants). How small we feel when in such dire situations...

Which supreme being gave her the autonomous rights to move as she pleases; to scorn at our manhood; to transcend all existing cultural barriers which have long kept males apart from females in quiet desperations? All I know is that she doesn't even pay $7 (RA movie, weekday rate) to be entitled such an eye feast! Yes, all you jealous, wanton, and desperate gals out there, she actually get PAID for it. Good lobang, eh?

'Aiyah, mai kia lah' - she might go sometimes. Why should she be scared? She's the one taking liberty of us! Now imagine if you're a girl (or if you already are), and it's an old lecherous uncle telling that to you with the visual accompaniment of drooling saliva at the sides of his half-opened mouth... takes the cake and eat it too, eh?

It would seem the only plausible way to escape her evil clutches will be to get on with your business and leave as early as you can - much like a girl forced into prostitution, forsaken of all pride and honor, whose only aim is to repay her debt and get out.

And once we guys are out of the toilet, we become the dignified men we once were before entering her dungeon of lost innocence. And none of us talk about it.

We just laugh off the period of lost dignity, much like how we laugh off the 2.5 years of lost dignity which began when we surrendered our pink ICs (and dignity) to the AOs at CMPB.

At least we are out of it.

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